Never
by SylviustheStrange
Summary: "I never should have went... My clock never should have been broken." What does it really take to break a clock? A certain white rabbit knows all too well... One-sided AxP, Ax? ONE-SHOT!


**Hey, guys! I was happy with your reviews I got from my other one-shot! Though JuliusxAlice is one of my favourites, I'm gonna go with something more… sad this time. **

**It feels weird writing something this… dramatic? *shot***

**Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Never<strong>

Why?

Why couldn't it have been me?

Even today, I ask myself this question, the sadness never truly leaving me.

The cause of it? Let me recount back to that day.

Although it was so long ago, it felt no longer than a time turn.

Oh, how happy I was when you stepped foot in the palace doors!

As always, when my red-eyes laid eyes on you, my clock sped up. It was too much for me to take.

I leaped away from Her Majesty's side to engulf you in a tight embrace!

The impact caused you to fall back against the floor, my arms wrapped around your shoulders.

You always had a small frame; it only made you that much more delicate.

It only meant… that you needed to be protected.

The thought made my arms tighten even further.

You didn't like that one bit.

Even as you yelled at me, punching me off, I couldn't bring myself to feel a hint of anger. The same held true as I felt my cheek hurting in what I knew was the beginning of a bruise.

It only makes you that much more endearing.

In fact, whether you know it or not, I'm not only captivated because you are a foreigner.

It is your kindness that truly won your place in my clock.

(Though it doesn't hurt that you give the cutest reactions when angry).

After Her Majesty welcomed you, we took our places at the table in the royal garden. We had a tea party that day, table filled with many sweets and the like.

You and Her Majesty were talking about many things; the melody of your sweet voice alone had implanted ideas of stealing you away.

Far away from the card soldiers, the other roleholders... and even Her Majesty; to have you all to myself.

Although I knew that neither you or the queen would be pleased by such thoughts, I couldn't help it.

How else do you relieve an itch other than to scratch it?

And yet, you force me to endure in cruel silence.

Dear Alice, you truly are a sinful woman to fill me with such yearning.

I stood by the queen's side, ordered by Her Majesty personally to be silent as a shadow.

I felt my clock tick rapidly when I saw your eyes flicker upon me in mid-conversation, though it was brief. A warmth spread through my chest.

Though it was pity and sympathy reflected in your orbs, it was more than enough to make me happy.

The silence became easier to withstand.

Soon, dusk had fallen, making the party come to an end. I offered for you to stay at the castle for the night.

And when I said 'offer,' I meant pleading for you to stay.

You politely decline, but I can tell your expression is strained.

I cannot help but feel a pang in my chest.

Do you truly despise me so?

The desperation fills me again; the need to be close to you is too much.

I even turn into my rabbit form in hopes of winning you over. I ask once more, now no higher than your knees, paws together, ears laid back against my head.

You agree.

You picked me up at my request, much to my elation, but not without letting out a sigh. I am careful not to cuddle too close to your… 'assets.'

We return to the castle, the queen especially pleased at the turn of events.

She orders a faceless maid to show you to your room.

I object fervently, declaring quite passionately that I can do it instead.

Her Majesty let me do as I pleased, much to my pleasure.

And so we went to one of the guest rooms together; I did most of the talking, but at the same time, I smiled the entire way.

As long as you were with me, I no longer had to be 'the Prime Minister of Hearts,' or even a roleholder.

I was but, 'Peter,' in your eyes, and that alone made me feel more powerful than any weapon could make me.

We had arrived far sooner than I liked. In fact, I was tempted to trash every guest room in the castle so you would have no choice but to stay with me.

But I knew you wouldn't like that.

So I left you to your room, but not without a hug, goodnight, and loud proclamation of, "I love you!"

I was rewarded with a bruise on my other cheek that night.

You gritted your good night back to me before letting the room close.

I can't help but linger at your door, silent, chest aching.

How is it possible to have something so close, and yet so out of reach?

I remember going back to my chambers to sleep. I murmured the three words that only you were allowed to hear.

It wasn't long before I drifted off to sleep... only to wake up but an hour later to a faint sound below my open balcony.

I leave my bed to go outside, seeing you run into the castle maze. Unable to help myself, I let curiosity take over me and decide to sneak away.

I never should have woken up.

I jumped down the balcony and onto the ground effortlessly, following you quietly into the greenery.

I never should have went.

After what seemed like hours, you stopped running, to come at the center of the maze. Already there, waiting for you… was him.

I hid myself behind one of the hedge walls. You ran up to him and talked, laughing without a care in the world.

I felt hurt etch itself on my features. How could you stand there, looking so happy? So beautiful?

Without me?

I never should have loved.

He then said something which made you smack him upside the head, scolding him as he grinned…

Only to leap into his open arms.

I gritted my teeth, transforming my pocket watch into a gun, fully prepared to take the man's life when your face appears, awash in tears.

I falter, aim unsteady.

That was when he did something I could never forgive; his gloved hand cups your chin in the moonlight. Even from where I was, I could see that your face is flushed. He draws his face closer, your eyes fluttering shut before he gently plants his lips upon yours in a kiss.

You never should have let him sweep you away.

I felt something wrench inside, my clock sputtering as it began to break.

I fled, leaving to run out of the maze without looking back… only to be unable to find the way out again.

I felt my chest sink even further as I realized… that I became Him.

My clock never should have been broken.

Another dead end.

My throat tightened, before the smell of salt wafted up my nose.

I walked slowly up to the hedge wall, letting myself lean against it. I tilt my head back to face the night sky, the moon impossibly blurred.

My eyes leak, streaming down my cheeks as I revert my gun.

And Alice... do you know something?

Despite everything... I should have been the one to be yours.

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><p><strong>Awwww, poor Peter. :(<strong>

**I don't have anything – okay, I lied, I don't like him much. **

**But it's kind of obvious, even in the manga that him and Alice wouldn't end together. **

**(BTW, I read the manga, and seen a few summaries of Joker, so I don't know much about the franchise itself, but it's a fun series).**

****Did I get his character right? Despite his devotion to Alice, his character is hard to get down. ****

**Cookies to anyone who could guess Alice was with? **

**Thanks for reading!**


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